Why do I do what I do?
I know the power of emotional healing. I know the power of gaining new insights and putting them into practice. It’s very rewarding for me to help people “step into their power” and build the life they dream of having.
There was a time when I was stuck in a lot of ways. I know how I felt then and how much better I feel now. And I couldn’t have done it on my own.
When I started as a client, I sometimes couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I had lived with some of my problems for so long I was oblivious to them, and I didn’t know what to do about the problems I actually recognized. If I had known what to do and how to do it, I wouldn’t have needed therapy! My therapist had the objectivity and “fresh eyes” that I lacked.
With therapy, I regained control of my life. And along my journey from there to here, I became aware that I’d been helping people with their problems since I was very young. For years I’d been an amateur therapist and didn’t realize it. In my late 30s as I reflected on my past and noticed the clues, I wondered if I might have “the right stuff” to be a professional therapist. I don’t wonder about that any more.
Why do I do it well?
I can meet you where you’re at, and help you find your way to someplace better. The details of my life story are different from yours, but the odds are good that in terms of your experience, I’ve “been there, done that, and got the t-shirt”. I’ll often have a good sense of what you’re going through and where you’re stuck.
I know what it’s like to be sitting in the client’s chair. After doing a lot of work on myself, I still make time for digging around and finding the “leftovers” that are holding me back in certain areas and continue putting them behind me one by one. I try out new things to see how they might get me more of what I want, which is often simple but not always easy. And I remember my early days when I was at the bottom of the mountain, looking up.
I have the qualities you’d expect from any healer – compassion, integrity, good listening and communication skills, open-mindedness, patience and tolerance, and many others. Through the years, many people have told me I’m an optimistic realist with a pragmatic approach. I also have training in a variety of healing techniques and philosophies, and am familiar with many more. I’m conversant in several spiritual paths. I like solving problems and I strongly believe that in life there is usually more than one “right” answer.
I often notice patterns before others do.
I’m a feminist. I’m sex-positive. I’m queer-positive. I’m touch-positive.
And I have perspective – I’ve been in dysfunctional and codependent relationships, experienced verbal and physical abuse, experienced neglect, had trouble saying no, been hypervigilant, been stubborn, been submissive, avoided people, cared for ill parents, experienced emotional incest, dealt with the suicide of a family member, experienced addiction, had a paranoid delusion, had a sexually transmitted infection, experienced sexual abuse, been ashamed of my sexuality, kept my fetishes secret, had low libido, wished I had a different body, questioned my gender, been rejected, been bullied, been teased, been called stupid, felt violated, felt lonely, felt hopeless, felt powerless, felt worthless, punished myself, been depressed, contemplated suicide, carried emotional pain with me for decades, been anxious, suffered from phobias, had surgery, and more. At the beginning, it seemed I’d never get past my problems. Looking back, I’m glad I got the help I needed.
I have great respect and compassion for your exeriences and the after-effects, and I can help you find your way out of the trees.
I’m a therapist, and I’m also a regular person, not so different from you. After my many “personal growth” experiences, I still have things come up from time to time. I still suffer from chronic pain, have allergies, sometimes feel insecure when dealing with certain people and situations, sometimes don’t know what to do, procrastinate certain tasks, forget where I put my glasses, sometimes resist change, sometimes seek external approval or validation, occasionally overindulge, occasionally feel embarrassed or anxious, occasionally discover I don’t want to admit something, and the list goes on. That’s why I still visit my own therapist every now and then for a tune-up, so that I’m able to be fully present, objective, focused and available.
I know how it is to be stuck in old patterns. And I know that something better is possible.
What are my results?
Most of the time, my clients tell me in sessions how they’re progressing toward getting what they want. Sometimes, I see their successes before they do and part of my help is pointing out to them how they’ve changed. (Remember the forest?) I’ve also had clients that stopped before they experienced the change they wanted, and I believe I still helped them. In a way, we’re like a spaceship – a slight change in trajectory can make a huge difference in our destination. And some things simply take longer than others.
I don’t actively solicit testimonials from my clients, and occasionally a client writes me a note or an e-mail with their heartfelt words. Here are some comments I’ve received:
Thanks so much for our session yesterday. I found it incredibly helpful and inspiring, and thanks for rolling with me as I had my fits of giggles; this is all so new to me, and your calm acceptance of however I reacted (and my long silences) made it infinitely more comfortable than I might have imagined. I really can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done so far. In just two sessions, I feel like you’ve already made a very significant impact and I’m very appreciative.
“Thank you again for our session yesterday. It really gave me a great lot to think about in a very positive way. I appreciate the time and care that you took in listening and sharing your relevant personal insights and experience as well.
I am still tossing around the possibility of coming back for repeat sessions, but until I arrive at that decision I wanted to express my gratitude for the peace that you have given me.”
“Thank you for everything! You made my life better!!” [December 2010]
“A lot happened this year that you helped me plant the seeds for. Thank you!” [December 2011]
Are you ready for something better?
To arrange a free introductory/evaluation session or ask any questions, complete the form below and I’ll normally respond within two days, Monday to Friday. If you prefer, feel free to call me at 416-709-2348.
I have offices on Carlton Street and Roncesvalles, and also offer in-home appointments within the TTC service area as well as on-line consultations via e-mail or Skype.